April In The Burbs

Losing my Granny Reel this last November was hard. Among Dottie being in the hospital and Granny going down hill, I didn't stop long enough to feel or think much, to be honest.  Sometimes, you have to be in Survival Mode and just keep going and doing your best.  I've been thinking and feeling more about  losing my Granny recently, which is actually nice. One of the biggest gifts she gave me was the love of baking.  Friday I decided to do a little baking. It's actually the first time I've baked anything in our new home and since Dottie was born in September.  Zucchini Bread it was, and the yummiest ever!  I thought I'd share the recipe with you all.  Maybe Banana Bread next?  What are some of your favorite things to cook or bake?     

As most of you know, we have a special needs a daughter named Dorothy who is currently four months old. She has a private duty nurse named Becca who comes to our house Monday Wednesday and Friday every week and watches Dorothy from 7 AM to 5 PM on those days.  I am not ashamed to say that I love Becca. I need Becca and I put her to great use. The reason why I love Becca and I need Becca, is yes because of Dorothy, but also because of our son Johnny. Becca fits in perfectly with our family and has a great personality. She's always full of great tips, and completely advocates for Dorothy. She also has three grown kids of her own she's done a little bit of baby raising herself. The absolute best part of having Becca here for Dorothy is that it frees me up to not only take care of things around the house and run errands, but mostly to spend quality time with John. These last few days it's been so beautiful here in Texas. We've been going to the park and will walk to Walmart

These past few days I have given a lot of thought to identifying Dorothy as Special Needs.    For many people, when they hear Special Needs, they think of someone with a mental disability.  For myself, growing up with a mother who worked at the state school throughout all my life, I am one of those people. I don't feel that I am in denial about Dorothy's medical status, it's just that I don't see her as a special needs baby.  Sure, she qualifies for physical therapy, occupational therapy, speech therapy and 30 hours a week of at home private duty nursing. She's on a surgically placed g-tube with 20 hour a day continuous feeds.  She's on two life long medications now, and will likely be taking more daily as the years pass. But when I look at her I don't think of or see a special-needs baby. I just look at her and think of how far she's come, and I know that our future holds lots of doctors appointments, and I guess really yes she is Special Needs because

  I read it time & time again: IG is a community. Until Dottie was born, I didn't fully understand or appreciate that fact. But it IS a fact. For example, this beautiful package Dottie and I received in today's mail from @stephbrown.    Having other moms like she and @atliston reaching out to us, sending us beautiful care packages and kind words, serves as such amazing validation that although times are tough lately, we are never forgotten. Being loved on and raised up for doing what I should be doing, just being a mom and doing my best, makes me feel so connected to motherhood. As moms we ALL work hard to keep our babies happy, healthy, and content. I'm no more special or work any harder than any other mom at that. We have some special circumstances, sure. Surprises like this beautiful hat for Dottie or a Starbucks gift card for myself means that these fellow moms GET IT. They understand how hard being a mother is to begin with, as well as the difficulties that I face

Having you home this last month has been one of the most difficult and rewarding times in my life. Juggling you, your laundry, the ever-growing list of daily duties has been a real struggle for this stay-at-home mama. It's also been kind of a challenge to balance time between taking care of you and spending time with your big brother Johnny. Seeing how much Johnny adores you, and how you smile at him anytime he is near, and how he brings you his binkies and toys when you're crying because someone's changing your diapers or cleaning your G-tube, fills this little mama's heart with joy!  We are literally supposed to hear back today about your private duty nursing.  I certainly hope that we can get a little bit of help, because I think it'll help mom balance life a little bit better, and probably have a better attitude on those really rough days. Your last remaining great grandparent, Granny B would really love to meet you so hopefully we can take you on your first roa