Mental Heath Checkin

 

I’ve worked through a lot of my issues surrounding overthinking and anxiety through talk therapy over the last 2 years. 

However, I still find myself having almost panic attacks near nightly over my constant fear and anxiety surrounding death. 

I’ve started working on the goal of just being healthier overall. It’s mostly stuff like drinking 64 oz of water a day, work out or get exercise one day a week, no soda for the month of January and to use healthier coping mechanisms when I’m having intrusive thoughts or feelings. 

Still working on learning that of course the feelings always pass with time. 

I don’t speak openly about these things for any type of sympathy, or to pity myself. I speak openly about my life (just as I did when Dot was so very ill, during diagnosis, after & since) - I do it because I’ve seen people be authentic. 

I’ve seen mothers cry. I’ve seen loss and joy and wonder and all of the good that’s in this world that makes it worth living and that makes it wonderful. There’s also pain and loss and confusion, anxiety, depression. 

I guess what I’m trying to say that you’re not alone. I’m not alone. We never are as long as we’re willing to show up authentically. I’ve seen posts here that did give me a new perspective or made me feel validated and seen and heard even when this person had never even spoke to me before. I guess that’s what I’m attempting here. 

Death and the fear of it isn’t something that I hear a lot of people my age talking about. But I know we’re thinking about it. Worrying about It and trying to cope with the anxiety and fear the best we can. 

I think to stay connected and open about it will help relieve the anxiety about it. I hope it does, anyway. 

I’m thinking of all of y’all out there tonight. Take a deep breath. Drink some water. Get some good sleep and try to stay focused on the Now and making it as authentic and joyous as you can. 🖤