Seeking Help

After lunch and the 🍭 shop yesterday, I had an appointment with my doctor regarding my anxiety issues. I've had what could me considered mild, and at times severe, anxiety issues since I was pretty much a child. At 17ish, I got into a car wreck and had PTSD as a result. 

It went untreated for approximately a year or so before I sought help. Mostly because my mom and I thought it would "just pass" given enough time. It didn't. That anxiety and PTSD eventually got so bad that when I was 18, pretty I decided I needed help to cope with my anxiety issues. I was put on a couple of medications. 

The first didn't work and made me feel sick, but the second definitely helped for a while. I eventually stopped taking it and thought that everything was fine. Until I got my first real job working full time. I worked there for 10 months before I let all of stress and anxiety build up to the point of no return. I didn't have insurance and could not afford doctor visits and meds out of pocket. 

Things seemed to settle down for many years and I was able to cope well with little to no anxiety problems. Until Dottie was born. I was in survival mode for so long due to her medical issues, that the stress eventually caused me to have what I consider a complete anxiety relapse. So in 2015 I started taking Lexipro for my anxiety issues and it worked like a charm. I stopped late 2016. 

I assumed all was fine and because things were settling down health wise for Dot, I wouldn't need help coping mental health wise. I was wrong. I constantly feel like something bad is going to happen. Like that tense, almost nauseous feeling in your stomach. It makes me irritable because I constantly feel stressed out and overwhelmed. It makes me grumpy and short tempered. 

Basically, not much fun to be around at times (sometimes a lot of time), and I don't want to be that way. I want to be a happy and fun mom and wife and daughter. Like I am when not already starting the day at stress/anxiety level 5.

 All of this to say: If you need mental health help, don't be ashamed about it. Seek out the people or meds that will help you function normally in your life. You're not alone. #endthestigma